Saturday, July 01, 2006

Money ...

Be warned : Rambling post ...

Was listening to pink floyd's "Money" when I actually started thinking about money : what it means to me , my thoughts about it and how people behave because/for it ...
Here is a simplified and condensed version of the thoughts that ran through my head.
I have always been carefree with my money : for me , it has been a means to an end - to be happy and contended in life. Possession of money has never resulted in either : and I seriously doubt if anyone has become contented only 'cos of money :-)
Money itself means nothing to me .... and even in most times , what money gets me usually does not make me happy directly. It usually allows me to buy things which on proper use make me happy : like my computers , books , cds , etc , etc .
Mere possession or the ability to buy does not make me happy ... unless I use the comp or play the games I got , etc - what is the point of money ! It is just paper in the wallet or numbers in your account :-P

I have seen way too many people act strangely and out of character when money is involved : which has increased my aversion to money. The way people do strange things for money can be pretty irritating sometimes ... and no , I dont think it is chronic greed which fuels this desire for more money : it is ingrained into human nature I guess.
I have even been "advised" by relatives on how "everything in this world revolves around money" , etc , etc - load of crap , which I patiently listen to (since the said person would be older than me) and then promptly let is pass out through my other ear ;-)
My parents keep telling me that my cavalier attitude to money is 'cos I dont appreciate the value of money - but I suspect I really understand it , which is why I do not attach too much significance to it !
Dont get me wrong , in current world it is not practical to live a life of dignity without adequate money : which makes my relationship with money one of love-hate :-)
I need enough money so that I will not need to spread my hands in front of others : anything more , I tend to spend in pretty much reckless manner (mom's description ;-) )

The pains people put themselves just to more money can be pretty surprising !
And in most of the cases , it is not really justified - I realise that some people can have really pressing need for it ... but I seriously doubt if most people fall in that category.
It is this notion that the more money you have the happier you could become : a vicious cycle unfortunately ....
I always have remarked to friends , I dont want to work for money : as in , I dont want my work to be my source of income.
If only I could decouple both, then I could work for the pure joy of working : of solving complex problems without monetary significance attached to it.
It works both ways ofcourse , if I feel bored , disinterested , irritated , drained , etc : there would be nothing stopping me from quitting , taking a break , etc - that would also take my indifference to all the 'corporate bullshit' to higher levels :-) (Yep , currently at my office I would be one of the most indifferent guys already ;-) )

And no , this is not a unique attitude , far from it ! A lot of my friends share a similar attitude to money : to varying degrees.
Hmm, maybe 'cos I am so carefree about my future , have zero responsibilities as of now , etc this attitude is practical for now ... I guess this could change in the future.
It is what a fellow chess programmer once said in another context "I dont micro-optimize : I hate doing it. But I have had to count execution cycles in critical codepaths in the past when I needed to , and I hated doing it."
If I do need to micro-optimize - heck even optimize my use of money as a resource , I will be quite unhappy !

By the way , this is not idle rhetoric , this is my current attitude to money : and why put it up here ? For posterity :-) Maybe in future I will look back at regret/admire this attitude ;-)
Or maybe I should either start a private blog or start a proper diary :-D


Blogger emanish said...

Light Blue Touchpaper link is good.

about money...
hummm !!

7/03/2006 12:53:00 AM  

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